16 Oct Career Crossroads at 40: Do You Want the Next Ten Years to Look Like This?
Exceptional & Exhausted #12
At a career crossroads around 40, most Directors and VPs have been carrying the question for a year or two before they say it out loud. What keeps it unheard is the noise of the week: back to back meetings, a phone that lights up in between, and almost no hour in which nobody needs anything. Give the question one quiet hour and it usually arrives in a very simple form: do I want the next ten years to look like this?
Some things refuse to be rushed, and lipstick is one of them 💄 A decision about the next ten years of your career is another. You will live with it for a long time, so taking your time is wise.
If you would like a first answer before you read on, my short quiz Stay, step up, or step out? takes about three minutes and shows which move is pulling at you. Find my next move.
Why does the big career question only come up when the noise stops?
Because the question is patient and the week is loud. A picture I came across recently made me sigh with nostalgia (yes, I am from that generation ;p). It reminded me that less noise used to come built in, and now we have to choose it.
Most of my executive clients run from meeting to meeting, with their phone lighting up in between. For many of them, the only hour in the week with no wifi, no notifications and nobody needing anything is their coaching session. That is often when the bigger question comes up. It stops being how to get through this week and becomes something much larger: do I want the next ten years to look like this?
The research matches what I see in the room. Microsoft’s study of what it calls the infinite workday found that the average worker is interrupted about every two minutes by a meeting, an email or a chat message.
Reflection has become a luxury most leaders feel they cannot afford, which is precisely when it becomes the most necessary.
The strategy that built so many successful careers (working harder, absorbing more, saying yes more) keeps running in the background like software nobody updated.
Why does this question so often arrive between our late thirties and mid forties?
By then most leaders have mastered the role they worked so hard for, and something in them is ready for a new chapter. The question rarely comes out of nowhere. Between our late thirties and mid forties, three slow cycles reshape how we lead and what we will no longer tolerate. I call them leadership chapters, and usually it is the noise that stops us from noticing which one we are in.
Many of my clients describe the same inner conversation. They have mastered the role so thoroughly, carried along partly by inertia, that it has started to feel like exactly that, a role. One voice says you have done your time here, or the time is approaching. Another answers straight away: be grateful, this is a good job, people would queue for it, and maybe things will look different in six months. So the first voice goes back under the carpet, and Monday arrives as usual. It is like the end of winter, when you can smell spring in the air before a single leaf has appeared.
What happens when the question stays in the background for too long?
It gets louder, and the decision tends to be made in a hurry rather than chosen. I know this from the inside. After fourteen years in investment banking, I had been questioning my career for years. I ran the question in the background between meetings and late at night, without ever letting myself look at it properly. Everyone I could have asked had a stake in the answer.
So I left the way people leave when they have waited too long: suddenly, and without a plan. Leaving was right for me. Doing it without a plan cost me.
How can a busy senior leader make room to think about the next ten years?
Choose one protected hour a week, on purpose, and give the question somewhere to land. Put the phone in another room, write the question at the top of a page, and ask yourself honestly whether what you are doing is serving where you want to go, or whether you are moving fast enough to avoid answering.
Most people assume it is something to settle alone, over a glass of wine or a long weekend in a mountain hut. If that worked, it would have worked by now.
What are your options once you hear the question?
You have three: stay, step up or step out, and all three are equal answers. None of them is a failure. What makes the difference is choosing one deliberately, with your head, your body and your numbers, so that whatever the next ten years bring, you are standing on something of your own.
In more than 3,100 coaching sessions with senior leaders since 2017, the clients who did well had one thing in common: they chose. If stepping up is the move pulling at you, I wrote about how senior leaders get promoted without burning out. And if you would like support with the decision itself, that is the work of The Turning Point: eight steps from is this it? to a decision you are sure of and the first move already made.
What can you do next?
If you are not sure yet which move is pulling at you, take the Next Move quiz. Ten questions, about three minutes, and your result shows straight away whether you are leaning towards stay, step up or step out, and what is most likely holding you back.
If you gave yourself one hour this week with nothing needing you, what question would be waiting there?
Warmly,
Danguole
This post first went out as Exceptional & Exhausted #12. Previous edition: Successful but Unhappy at Work? Whose Desire Were You Chasing?
Danguole Litvinskaite, founder of Coach and You. Ex investment banker (14 years), ICF PCC executive coach with 3,100+ coaching sessions. About Danguole. First published 16 October 2026 · Last updated 27 October 2026.
In short
- Around 40, the big career question is usually already there. The noise of the week keeps it unheard.
- For many executives, the only hour with no phone and nobody needing anything is their coaching session.
- In that hour the question becomes simple: do I want the next ten years to look like this?
- Stay, step up and step out are three equal answers. What matters is choosing one deliberately, with your head, your body and your numbers.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a career crossroads at 40?
It is a point, often between the late thirties and mid forties, when a successful leader senses the chapter they built is ending and cannot yet see the next one. It usually appears as a question rather than a crisis: is this it?
How do I know whether to stay, step up or step out?
Test each path with your head, your body and your numbers: what it would mean for your days, how it feels when you picture it, and what it means for your income and savings month by month. The Next Move quiz gives you a first read in three minutes.
Why can’t I think clearly about my career when I am busy?
A packed week leaves no hour in which nobody needs you, and the bigger question needs that hour before it can come up. One protected hour a week, with the phone elsewhere, is often enough to start.
Is it a failure to stay in my job after asking this question?
No. Staying is one of three equal answers. What matters is that you stay by choice rather than by default.
About the Author
Danguole Litvinskaite is an executive coach based in Switzerland who helps Directors and VPs at a career turning point decide whether to stay, step up or step out, and make the move well. An ex investment banker, LSE graduate and ICF PCC coach with 3,100+ sessions, she combines Executive Coaching, Executive Astrology and body psychology.
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